Reinvention you did not intend. My husband's brain cancer took many capabilities from him so quickly, that almost overnight I became The Person in Charge of Everything. You may think it odd, but I found a lot of helpful information and encouragement in Widow to Widow by Genevieve Davis Ginsburg, M.S. As the promotional info suggests, it really is group therapy in the pages of a book.
Take care of yourself. Caregivers have it rough. Do NOT fail to be kind to YOU, or you will be no use to anyone. (Been there.) I've read several self-improvement books since his illness began, and right now I read a chapter each day of Mark Nepo's The Book of Awakening. I also begin each day by mentally making a gratitude list before I even get out of bed. As much as we would not have chosen this path, we also realize we are very blessed.
Music. Turn it on. We listen to music a lot at our house. Although our family is musical, I believe music can lift nearly anyone's spirits. When we hear a new artist on public radio, I go online and find out more, and often purchase a song (or if I'm lazy, a CD). I've learned to make CDs of the songs I buy for our use at home or on the road. It cheers us all up.
Cheap entertainment can be good. Money is tight here since the main breadwinner became disabled in December 2009. We don't watch TV for many reasons, but we do enjoy Netflix. I can find entertainment for my husband easily and inexpensively. Comedies are good. War and killing are bad. (Is this a surprise to anyone?)
Reach out. If someone in your family is ill and people sincerely offer help, take them up on it. I could not have survived thus far without the assistance of many, many people in our small town, and friends and family all over the country. Cards, calls, emails, money, food, visits, and volunteers to stay with my husband... The list is too long. I think that learning to accept help, and to ask for it when necessary, is one of the biggest lessons I have learned.
Eat well. I'm afraid we Americans are killing ourselves with the food we eat. One of the changes I've made in our home is to eat out only once a week, and to cook healthier meals. The big surprise is that we all like it this way (at least most of the time).
